thanks ALLAH

On 27^th December, ALHAMDULILLAH, I’m able to view 3 different

 perspective of world in one nite.

Start with the first one,

Mama n papa pesan, malam ni kita p surau, ada bacaan yasin. By 7.20 pm dah siap nek kereta nk p surau. Tiba di surau, sayu tguk surau. Tangga surau bahagian lelaki ada 3 pasang kasut ja. Hum tu pun kasut orang2 tua, mana pi budak2, mana smua lelaki ni. Sayu tguk, t time kita tua, sapa je la g masjid. G surau, kita ni la golongan2 tua t dok ada, but the young one?? Huu disco, pub? Sure heboh? Pesta, fun fair, name it smua nama yang asal ada hiburan, yes crowded with the youngster. Sllu pikir, who then gonna be my menantu? How am I able to didik my anak2, with the current world we are living now..

Then masuk bahagian perempuan, oo mak cik2, yang tua2 ja. Oo I want to change this, iA when I own a house, I want it to be closed to surau or masjid. Sng dengar azan yang ingtkn kita dgn ALLAH, g kumpul pahala Jemaah, nk gaduh dgn suami pn segan takut orang masjid dgr, hee ok imaginasi tinggi. Hihi..

Next,

Mama and papa lapar plak tim balik surau. Ku baru ingt nk makan roti plus hot dog ja.plus  Aku dah la pakai selekeh jaa, baju nk tido, tudung tk bawak, sarung telekung ja p surau, terpaksa p rumah tok mintk pinjam tudung tok pah, hehe mujur tok pah ada satu tudung taste org muda, kereta pun p jalan menuju ke kepala batas, kedai fevret mama n papa.

Tgah makan, mak cik kedai kae teow sup tu mai sembang. Dia besfren mama sbb mama pelanggan tetap kedai dia. Dia pun cita. Kedai dia ada org buat, bagi tk Nampak, kasik bisnes tk laku. Adoi, org melayu, mcm ni la meniaga, macam2 benda dia buat. Tapi aku respek la mak cik ni, walau macam2 org buat kat dia. Dia tetap tk nak balas, dia kata, rezki kita lain2, biarla org kacau rezki kita, jgn kita dok kacau rezki org, ALLAH tu bagi rezki kat smua org. tk payah nak risau. Wuu patutla bisnes mak cik ni ok ja, since aku kecik kot dok makan kae teow sup dia.

Besides, rasa terharu tguk anak2 dia 3 orang dok tolong dia kat kedai, Ya ALLAH, baik nya anak2 dia, duduk tulung mak meniaga. The one that sy suka tguk anak lelaki dia, since dulu dok tolong mak dia meniaga, mak dia buat nasi ayam plus bnda2 sup, dia meniaga roti jala, capati, which is sedap. Di saat anak2 muda lain smua kejar nk jadi penyanyi la, pelakon, kerja2 glamer, dia still tulung mak dia meniaga.  I do respect those people, as I know me myself wont able to do that, told before saya segan nk meniaga, malu.

Then,

I’ll reach home, got mesej from pahna, my bestfren since darjah 2, oo I do love my frenship much, and ill try my best to keep them forever. The mesej contained, our old friend, kawan tim ngaji kafa dulu meninggal, he got some heart problem, which from kecik2 mama told me that he got bateri inside his jantung, yet till now I couldn’t figured out what medical term for it. Sedih rasa, he just 23, dah meninggal, hum, but he survived long enough, Sedih dengar cerita papa pasal dia, kesian dia. Teringat kami suka gaduh dulu, hehee plus dia ek, if not mistaken hantr surat hantr nk jumpa kat taman, hihi, funny those kiddies time. AL- Fatihah to arwah.

My entry today are the longest entry I write I guess. I just wanna share what I see and experienced today.  Tq for reading J

diet

You cant DIET in december,

as

Kenduri kendara setiap hujung minggu, sehari smpai 2-3 jemputan, weeee

plus


+ 

+


Masakan mama yang membuatkan anda tambah 2-3 hingga mungkin boleh mencecah 4 pinggan.

I did it, 4x tmbah bihun mama goreng..


wuuuu, to whom it may concern.. 
please do accompany me please for jogging nnti :'( :'(

2nd attempt

I always fail
In my second attempt,

waaaawaaa nk nangis aaa cmniii :'( :'( :'( 

plan

wooot wooot <------------->

i know from whom sy blaja the term, hee

50% dah siap, 
another 50 to go.

I love those planning 

YEAPPPIII :)

haiyak

hooo

like always,

how to say NO

in a proper and humble way

morning

Waking up in the morning,
and lie to u a bit,
just not  a good start,
sorry,
i didnt meant to,
but i have to
its confidential

kemas mood

i got my room back yesterday

yoobidoobiddoo. 

during the school hols, both my sisters used my room, as there only 3 rooms in our house, 
which the first one belong's to mama n papa, the other one belong to the boys, so a NO NO zone for them.
Left with my room, for them to tumpang.
So, as i got 2 little heroes and 2 princesses, yes they make my room their little castle, put all stuff all over, gave me some heart attack when they touch some of my stuff- those all my belongings from UK. keep hiding from them, as u know, kids love to explore and play. 
Those stuff that I own are : yes2 fancy as well as their fragile too.. So when they were in my room, I need to take some of my belonging n put them in my ma n pa rooms. Plus, im so lazy to clean up my room as those kids will make sepah again.

So, soon after they left, yesterday, i feel like freedom, weeeheee,
I own my room back.
Can golek2 on my own sweet time.
Ceee, selama ni tido katil mama n papa tk blh nk bergolek sakan,
kena control tidornya, nk tido tim petang pn tk blh mama nk guna bilik.

Today waking up,
realising i got a lot of stuff to do,
kemas2 balik bilik,
unpack one box (box from uk, tk bkesempatan nk unpack properly before this)
I found these teddies inside the boxes, 

its all present by my frens, hee except for those little one, bought it from harrods.

Done, now thinking where to hide those teddies, as I love all my stuff and dislike they been touch by others,as all of it got their own sentimental value. 
Then, next move to clean up my room, after 3 hour bertungkus lumus, lap kipas, cuci sawang, haaa cuci all the debu's with wearing two protection, spek 3D n mask diperbuat dari shawl, I need those 2, as i got alahan yg sgt teruks to debu.. Then, mop2 bilik and change the sarung katil smua, Spray2 febreeze, Setel.. i can baring2 already :):)

yeah, my super duper best bed :)

Unfortunately, after taking propylaxis, eating 2 apples, to give me khasiat to prevent from selsema teruk I am still having achum achum jaa. haaissh..How i gonna sleep tonite.. 

skinny

i want to 

After watching twilight 1st one with my sis,

How I wish I am skinny like kristen stewart..

Yes, the BATTLE OF DIET is on..

last thursday

last thursday,

I'm done with meeting the family.

Almost all I guess, only left with his second brother.

Weeee

the day before,

hours and minutes before,

honestly, i feel so calm. can sleep well

But the second arrived in front of his house,

aaaaaaaaa aaaa dup dap dup dap,

all of bad thought serbu my minda,

what they will say about me?

erk, am I gemuk? ---> yes2, this is the first thing that came to my mind.

Am i cukup sopan santunnya? makan tertib? aaaaa

Syukur, I managed to undergo it well.

Hee except to some 2 stuff that I regret I've done it.

k, forget it. Overall ok,

but do believe me what i wish now.

How i dont want to undergo that situation anymore,

SCARY

But deep inside me,

I couldn’t hide this feeling,

sob3 sob3

Im not the sopan santun, the jaga tertib one,

I admit, I'm not that kind of girls,

Girl yang tk cukup serba serbi..

wuuwuuwuu,

I came to think, err maybe I'm not meant to anyone.

Which mother wants this kind of girl to accompany their son??

Some stuff run through my mind on the way back home, while riding the bus,

My inferiority is there, which I know I did think about it previously,
The differences do presence,

Is it somewhere I belong to??

kiddies

I should hide my childishness,

and be more matured instead.

hi

some of our baju ketat is not because we are gemuk rite3? its because the fact that after we basuh baju byk x, dia kecut. hihi


-random thought as im so bored in finishing this stuff, bertahaan sikit lgg, never lose ur semangat.

selsema again

for thousand times, need to keep reminding urself,

STay away from cold n dust

repeat = STAY AWAY FROM COLD AND DUST..


see, this is what happen, sneezing, tissue bertaburan. 
waaaa feeling sickk..


-im allergic to cold n dust, now having super duper extra selsema. :( dont want to take medicine caused will feel extra sleepy, exam coming near. wuwuwuwuuu

mama pesan

told mama exam is coming so cuak n banyak to baca

mama = "Baca ja, baca n cakap aku baca untuk tambah ilmu, jangan fikir yang tk habis baca "

True MAMA,

so keep calm n baca je ok :)
Dah besar dah, jangan nak cuak2 sangat laaa...


k, mood down as google tk kasik access dkt beautiful nara. Howw howw hooww nk update gosip artis2 niii???

yeahhhh :)

last nite, ada org kena belanja kita duit gaji dia.
hee roti nan wif double cheese plus ayam tandoori. 

sedaap , (plus makan free mmg sedaap) :)

roti nan sy kenaa paau :(


Tq very much for the food :)

exam

haa exam mode again 

tired now

scroll the twitter, 

yeah stuck with Dr halina instagram

waaa how i admired her so much

yeah n wardina too.

congraateesss :)

                 yeah, its ur first marathon event.

Yet, you perform well..

               10 km for 1 hour.. 

waaah 

     GREAT ONE for a beginner,

and starter :) 

congrates for a great job :)

More event to come, hehee hope you be improving by time...

:(

what a person I am,
Being so lazy n hurt you.
Cant say sorry much caused sory wont cure it.
I know how it feel if we put hope so much and it turn totally not the way you want,
Plus that time you are so tired.

Why am I like that?
I keep asking.
Is it im not totally in it?

aaa, first time maybe
but its first time to others as well..

But me??

im about to run n say 
"hey, you makee it :) cepatnyaa smpaai"

n it came to paused......

hAppY

I am so happy, with the current state we are now :)

its google :)

Never lose faith

Just done crying after seeing Gaza video,

I cant stop myself from crying seeing those kids, with the blood and dust surround them,

They are just kids, which only experinced and know dunia about 2, 5 or maybe 8 years,

We shouldnt ask ALLAH why, He is the best planner,

Those kids are strong, some do not cries, I am proud of you guys..

While I do have my respect to you,

Your not losing Faith in ALLAH though having this ujian Getir,

If i were in your place, will I be that strong?

Will I be the one who come and run lending my hand

or is that me who hiding under the blanket??


iA Jannah will be yours.

De Javu

I feel like having De Javu, the similar situation came again,

Maybe one of ujian from ALLAH,

testing us how we gonna handle this situation,

thus we learned from our previous mistake,

or may repeat the same..

ALHAMDULILLAH, i learned from my mistake and handle it well.

Better :)

we are better people today, IA tomorrow will be much better and remain better.

-Thanks ALLAH :) 

puzzle

i am fixing the puzzle, which been damaged previous and long long time ago. 

Do lend your hand, and a bit of understanding..

-I am on my way to make a perfect one, 


My mind is complicated, if i explain in words, 
u wont understand.
its just the way I think.

Baik it perlu ??

Terasa perlu ke saya buat baik dgn semua org. 

Sebab sometime benda yang kita buat tk diappreciate pn oleh org.

Sometime, when we in their place, kita tk dipandang pun.

Selalu bertanya pada diri, perlu ke saya ingtkn diorg, apa la yg diorg tgh buat, kesian plak tkda tu tkda ni,

Sometime I think I can be selfish, but yet its not me. 

I dont understand why some people boleh buat mcm tu kat org lain?

being heartless, keep the ignorance..

Pelik2.

Mungkin saya pernah buat kat org lain mcm tu? balasan kesalahan kesalahan saya?

Takpa la, biarla orang buat kita mcm tu, 

What goes around comes around kn.

What keep me silent, 

Takpa la, let other hurt us, Never ever hurt others.

Keep your good deed, instead of other attitude.

Never let others bad attitude fading your good deed..

post exam nnti

Stuff I want to do after exam :

Yes yes yess preparing for upcoming event nex year, what?? SSC, elective, yaa but not to forget the Feb’s..

Baking2 make roti n biscuit maybe

Ooo aaaaa meeting ……… takut n cuaknyaaa

Nak g Melakaaaaa ye ye yeeeee

shouldnt have a tittle then?

ill appreciate honesty but smtime people are just too honest.
me myself dont even want to life in this kinda mess, with 
all those stuff and the space that we got, without the store.
but this is what i am, with the space that im left with, with stuff which are still here havent pick up and sent back to kedah, 

I couldnt ride it all by the airplane,,

previous

Im writing this to say sorry for my previous post, sori2 . I doesnt mean it.

understand?

Yes Yes Yes

I should understand didnt I?

feeling of the same road...

sori cikgu

hahaa what laa, 
nk ponteng kelas but then kantoi lecture nmpak.

aaa sedihnyaa

sori cikgu,

its not that i really want to escape ur lecture,
its because i couldnt focus up during the class
fikiran dah menerawang ke awan nano.

AAAA cuaknya
dh la muka ni yang g hadap dia mintk kensel presentation,
muka ni nk ponteng hari jumaat,
yes n yes, 
muka ni laa jugak nk mintk kuiz hari lain.

adoi, rasa bersalah n cuaknya.
kalau kantoi exam bulan dis ni, konpem kena ceramah n aim.


but honestly, sorri Dr.
Im having headache and stomache,

sincerely sori.. :( :(

mandi itu perlu ka?

hee change mood.

Ive finally berjaya merekodkan tidak mandi lebih sehari, haha, since 1.30 pm yesterday up till 5.27 pm today :) weeee kalah tim kat uk, kat uk tu sjuk cm mana pun mmg mandi jgak, at least sehari skli, tk pernah tk mandi.

I feel so lazy to take bath today though smlm kena hujan n pagi td feeling nk demam. 

Yet i survived without bau busuk. hik2. k itu hanya berlagak.

- just merepek sempena hari ahad yang hujan

good enough

i always susahkn org,
always kaco org,

harap kalian bersabar dengan saya.
wuwu sori sllu kaco.




oo why my post latelt ni sad2 je.

difference

caused we live in different world..

- to be frank, im still feeling sad.

hi :)

welcome :)

 

haha i know youre reading this after found it out,

heee, its ok, one of ur buffday presents being revealed :)

read biasa2 je , dont think much, it just some merepek2 stuff that get through my mind while im writing it up.

  k, hepi reading :)



see you soon,


xoxo..

syukur

have the previous post about missing real athan,

Yeahh.

ALHAMDULILLAH,

Now, i got a room, which the surau is only down stair, 

i can hear athan clearly now,

THANKS ALLAH for hearing my prayer.

journey... its medic dear

 

 

 

yes, yes, yes,

exam approaching,

 

stress r increasing..

 

aaa

 

the tough and rough road you choose

 

busy?

im occupied with unnecessary stuff lately, 

haissh

a lot of things to cover,

let focus on coming exam,

SCAREd :((('

stuff to cover :( , a lot rite??

sincerely

I like this sentence,

Its like calming me when im in a sad n scared mood,

i had post this before,

aaa exam coming near,

put aside other stuff,

" Sesungguhnya, segala yang di langit dan di bumi adalah milik ALLAH,
cukup dengan apa yang ada"

rosak

aa so sad,


thinking of my beloved mini fridge yang rosak :( 



sad sad sad, humm

dark side,

everyone is not perfect,

and each of us has our dark side ..

kedah kedah

im in a sad mood,


wawawawawaa, aaaaa

my fridge rosak n not working, aaa stress, what a stress event


i love this fridge. mahal kot klu nk beli kat sini.

aaaa

kk tears coming.

aaaa easily get sad when my stuff rosak / hilang

i wish papa is here,
he knows what to do,
which shop that can perbaik this fridge. stressssss aaaaa aaaa aaaaaaaa lmbt lg kot bulan 12 nk balik

4th

aa 4th year is just so hectic,

with lot of stuff to think,

ssc, elective and studying,

aaaa im struggling with it..

everyday wake up and thinking yes i have a lot of work to do,

yet i did not start anything,

why?

it is not my favourite,

all of this..

4th year is hard and full of pressure,

to b honest,

i dont know how to study :( :(

a simple one.

thanks for make me realise,

how badly i treat you,

feeling so bad and sad,

aaaaaaaa

how far you can stand it,

pretending all of it is nothing,

just a norm of life,

we have long journey to go,

more to come,

will it end up to the one that we dream,

or gone as a sand through the sea.



- im not good enough, i dont know how to make it good, im not good at it :( 

words

im not good in describing my feeling,

my thought,

my opinion,

into words.



which i found there no suitable words,

i can share what i feel with others.

they end up confused

with what im saying..

botol air

i throw my bottle air yang dulu2, dua2 botol dibuang, - alasan botol air kn tk elok guna lama2, which i know betul but i dont know either untuk botol jenama Bros pun consider kee? k tk pa dah buang pun,


so keluar laa mencari botol baru, 

this is my new botol. 

weeee

k, its pink, haha, not that i like pink, it just because i love the words written on the botol 

i used the duit raya that i got from him. tq. ngee :) :) 

kosong

think of urself first before others,

as if you cannot love yourself,

how can you afford love others??


- just sometimes it is not worth it to sacrifice - 

second one

its not because you are my second choice,

it because of me,

i couldnt leave it,

i can only do that when im free. 



ps - mencari titik keseimbangan itu susah, though you tried hard to be fair, it wont turn out the way we want

explain??

i dont think i should explain about it,

caused i hate the way you ask it.

If you ask it nicely and appropriately,

IA I will explain,

caused there nothing to hide more..

- speak and act wisely -

saya yang suka berlengah.

just have a skype call just now :)

 haha told that person that i wanna mandi, but yet, after 2 hours baru terkedek2 ke bilik air nak mandi..

tu pun after 10 times bgtau mama yg kat dpur, 

"k, orang dh nk mandi dah ni, bye2" .

 indeed i was browsing the internet, blaming celcom for cheating haha then runningman jap. after buat benda2 merepek baru gerak mandi.

YuP this is me, yang suka melengah2kn mandi..

start since masa kecik2 lg kot, angah was the one who perasan my habit yang susah nk buang, till now dia sllu bising when i said k orang dh nk mandi ni,

- just coretan merepek nak habiskn gig internet, ngeee3 

cerita sedih

wawawawawawa

sedih n sedih, 

sebelum ni tk perasan pun 

yang ku dh gemuk skrg

OH NOOOOOO..

gambar ni laa yang menyedarkan diri ini memang dh besar n tembam weh

nampak dak nampak dak, yang baju biru kelip2 tu..ya ALLAH, anak sapa nii gemuk sgt.


sedih weeh, sapa tk sedih klu jadi gemukkkk..

my anak sedara

case 1

im preparing for solat asar, yes there are 2 budak kecik mia n titin come and join me, when all of us are ready with telekung and kain smbahyang, suddenly titin and mia have a nice conversation that make me laugh for a while,

titin - hampa nk ikut mak njang ke kami??

mia - kami ikut mak njang

titin - tapi kami smbhyang lg cepat dari mak njang

mia - ok, kami ikut awakla

those kidss memang cant stop making me laugh :)

us after the prayer, yes anjang n anak sdara yg camwhore

case 2

rayyan, abang atid having fever, a high one i guess, he was so weak, angah went to sent him to the hospital.

when i was giving bath to rayyan

rayyan - anjang, ibu mana

me - ibu g hospital, abah sakit

rayyan - abah bukan sakit, abah demam je. 

k, i have a paused for a moment :)

rayyan again.

he keep using awak to talk with people

when he arrived from kl, he told his tok wan, out of sudden "gigi awak buyuk laa' tok wan yang dok tguk tv tgelak.

 then, one day we left him jap nk g shopping pekan rabu, he woke up the next day asking us anjang dgn ibu tinggal ayyan, anjang g mana, after explaining to him, he went to his tok wan and said, "awak yang tinggal dgn rayyan kan smlm masa ibu tinggal rayyan"  :) :)

rayyan, currently he is the fav of all people, mum called him baby

haaa there a lot of funny things happen with those 4 my anak sedara are around..

its raya

its 1 Syawal, hee selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. malam before raya, angah cakap jum taun ni kita amik gmbr kat kedai, i was thinking yeah thats a great idea, we never have a pic taken at kedai. hee

 yeah, our pic, but there no kak an, she was in perlis, her husband hometown, we're missing a bit of our family.

the first pose wehee control je smua muka

we choose this to be frame at our hall

ma n papa

haaa finally, yeahhhhh after susah payah memastikan smua hadir, adik yg susah dikejutkan took 1 hour to kejut him as he was so ngantuk makan byk.. mama yang penat muka kepenatann